You all know that I call this blog "Kyrios Girl". What I realize you may not know (she said igniring the fact that anyone who reads this is on team and so is laughing at the idea) is what that means. At my parish we have a retreat called kyrios, and for me it has always been a huge deal. Four years ago I attended my first kyrios (kyrios 7) and found there something truly remarkable. Kyrios is the kind of place where miricles just happen, change is everywhere, and the Holy Spirit moves in very powerful ways. It was something I needed then, and still needed again and again, and now, nine kyri (like cacti) later on kyrios FIFTEEN (I feel so OLD) have come to rely on and think of as home.
Kyrios though, is much, much more than a retreat. Kyrios is a family- one that I have devoted myself too. Not that honestly I had much choice. My first kyrios I fell madly in love with the community and couldn't have gone back if I wanted to. There is something unique in the way that the people in that family are so warm and open, the way that God works through them, and the wonders that happen within the people inside it that is sooo amazingly attractive, putting me in it was like putting iron filings next to one of those electro-magnents that can pick up cars.
When I walked into kyrios I already knew a few of the people there from school, but honestly I didn't see them much that weekend and I hadn't been very close with most of them anyway, as much as I loved them. Besides those people were the peer ministers that I had been coming to know, even though I didn't know them much beyond saome names and which school they were with. That scared me, a lot. There was something about them though-they shined.
My friends can tell you that I love shiny things. I get so distracted by them... (my friend Katie always has really cool sparkly earrings, and more than once while I was talking to her I have stopped, stared at them for a second and then just start poking them because they are soooo interesting!!!!!) and like I said, they were shiny. Not like Katie's earrings, it was something inside them that made them different, made them stand out. And I knew that I wanted to be like them.
I dove in head first and started trying to learn from the people that I still think of as the living ledgends of youth ministry- people who had so mastered decipleship that it seemd to me like they were saints walking around on earth. Who better to have mentor you in being a good PMT? I felt that if I could be like them, these people who got up and told their stories and taughht us, that served all the time and were gentle to shy freshmen like myself, that soooo loved God, that I would be a success. I'll admit that seemed like an impossible goal.
Now, four years later I'm a graduated senior staring down a new life and wondering when it happened that I become one of those people who has been on a million retreats, who became one of the senior team. As per kyrios retreat we sign Bibles at the end of the retreat and I was signing some of the freshmen's and it hit me again how much had changed. I laugh with my other friends who remember those early days about how much differnt it is now than it used to be, but when they walked away I realized that the roles had switched. Now I am the senior leader trying to meet the newbies and being involved and serving, and when I look at these freshmen, I realize in a new way that this is what I must have looked like to the team back then. It's funny, and amazing to see. I have so much hope for this generation- from the new freshies to the reigning seniors!
Somethings haven't changed though- I'm still a freshman with a lot to learn. I'm still in awe of the peer ministers around me. I still want to glow like the college kids, and in some ways that still seems out of reach, but maybe not so impossible.
It's a little bitter sweet- because this will probably be my last kyrios for a while (stupid break schedule), but this ending is for the best. It's time for me to go find a new adventure and conquer the world, and more than that, it's time for a new group to lead and take care of the community we have in kyrios. They are more than ready to be in charge- I'm not worried, I just wish I could stick around a little longer to watch it all happen.
So here's to you my kyrios family- past, present, and future. You are so beautiful, I wish the best for you. If you ever need ANYTHING I'm here for you-day or night. I love you and will do anything for you. Don't forget even for a second how much you mean to me, and even more so what you mean to God. Let him work and I promise you that wonders will happen.
Ever your loving sister,
- Kyrios Girl, K7-K15
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